The other day at I work I was walking by one of my co-worker's desks and noticed a picture hanging on his cabinet. He was not at his desk, so I decided to take a closer look. The picture was of a perfectly happy baby in a bath. You could not tell which sex the baby was, it did not matter. The baby was smiling with his/her tongue sticking out broadly. His/her hair was spiked in four different spots, soap holding them in place. The hair must have been the reason for the smile and the picture. I wondered if the baby was a boy or a girl. I had never spoken to the baby's father before. He just sat two aisles away from me, but I did not know him. And then I wondered if he was even the father. This was the only picture of this child on his desk. The only other picture resting here was of my co-worker in a tux and a girl in a dress, I assumed it to be his wife or girlfriend as he was not too young to be married and not too old to still be single.

I looked at the girl in the photo. She was shorter than he was, much shorter, but her arms were wrapped around his neck, her head close to his chest. She smiled without showing her teeth. I wondered why she did not show her teeth. Were they bad? Were some missing? Or was it that she did not like the way she looked with a full tooth smile. Tooth smile or not she had a look in her eye of love. It made me feel cold and jealous. You could feel the love ooze from the picture, it was not superficial love, or faked for the camera. The love that she expressed in her eyes made you know that she was home. And my co-worker was in a tux hovering above his i wife/girlfriend and smiled (with teeth) a smile that would make any lonely man feel just as lonely as he was. It must be a wedding, I thought to myself, but it must have been someone else's wedding. She was wearing a dark dress, black with brown.

"Jeff?" a voice said behind me. It was my co-worker staring at me very oddly. I had not noticed until that moment how far I had leaned over his desk to examine the picture of he and his wife/girlfriend. It was very awkward, given the fact that he knew my name and I did not know his and that I was sprawled out over his desk looking at his pictures.
"I'm sorry, I was just looking at your pictures?..."
"I can see that. Is there something I can help you with?" he asked moving forward to make me distance myself from his desk.
"No, I mean, I just had never noticed them there before," I stammered, "Is this one yours?" I said pointing at the baby.
"Yes, that's mine."
"May I ask boy or girl?"
"A girl, Kaitlyn," he said. He continued to look at me very oddly. This had been the most that we had ever spoken to each other. I still felt that I needed to explain myself so I continued the conversation.
"Ah, Kaitlyn. She looks so happy in that picture."
He smiled a proud fatherly smile, "She loved it when I spiked her hair up like that. She thought that was the best thing in the world."
"And this is?" I motioned to the picture of him in the tux.
"My wife, Jen."
We talked a little while about the picture. It was taken at his friend's wedding, he had been the best man. He told me that he and Jen had not been together previous to that day. The picture was taken the day they had met. While he talked you could feel the love ooze from him as it had from her in the picture and it made me feel lonely again.
"How old is Kaitlyn?" I asked changing the subject.
"This picture was taken," he said. I had noticed everything about the baby. Her hair, her smile, her tongue, even the shine on her forehead from the flash that made the whole picture look brighter and happy, but I had not noticed the red date in the corner, "two years ago. She will be three in August."

There was something wrong when he said that. Something in me changed. This picture of the baby on his desk was not right. This was not a baby anymore, this was a child, a kid. Where were his pictures of the child now? What about the time in between? I was no expert at guessing babies ages but she could not have been a year old in the photo. Why did he not have any other picture of the child on his desk? Why were there no pictures of the whole family together? Was I wrong about the ooze of love? Had I been mistaken? But then as quickly as I began to doubt this man who had only one picture of his beautiful child on his desk he said, "And we have two more on the way."

It took a moment for me to realize what he had said. He must have said it often and enjoyed making you think. "Twins?" I said. He nodded his head slowly. A moment ago I doubted this man with pictures on his desk from two years ago and nothing more recent and now I felt like a thousand pinwheels were being spun by the wind all over. I do not know why his news made me feel so strange. It was wonderful news, a truly great thing to hear.
"My God that is wonderful!" I exclaimed and reached out to shake his hand, "Congratulations!"
"Thank you," was his only reply.
"When is she due?"
"In a couple of days. They have her scheduled for June 1."
"Why that is only a few days away! How exciting! Have you known for long that you were having twins? Do you know the sex?" I asked quickly.
He smiled his smile that made me feel jealous again, "Both girls and we found out at about six weeks during her first ultrasound."

We continued to talk for a moment or so, discussing his wife's pregnancy. He did not seem as excited as I about his twins. The pinwheels continued to whirl through my blood. My head felt light. I have no idea why my co-worker's twins made me this way. He told me that he now had half of a volleyball team, which seemed to make him very proud. He finished our conversation by saying that sometimes he felt that he should write a newsletter to everyone letting them know the status of his wife on a daily basis so he was not asked so much about it. I thought that it was a cynical comment to make but told him that if he did decide to do a newsletter to count me in. It was in all honesty too. He told me that he would include me but I knew that it was a lie.

I walked away with a smile on my face and I could hear him saying to the red haired girl next to him, "That was weird. Jeff Stanton just was leaning?..." and that was all I heard before got back to my desk.

When I sat down in my chair I could tell that I did not want to work anymore. My fingers were trembling. I was elated, ecstatic. I opened up the internet on my computer and typed in "Twins" and began to search different websites. I learned that twins are also considered called multiples, which makes total sense, but I had never heard of anyone mention twins as a multiple birth before. On one site it stated that one in every eighty-five births was twins. I only knew of one or two pairs of twins through school and I thought to myself that one in every eighty-five is not a very large number. I should have known more twins than I did. I learned that fraternal twins are more common that identical twins and wondered which my co-worker was having as I neglected to ask. And I discovered that you did not have to have twins in your family history to have twins yourself, in fact the percentage was equal. I was shocked. It was of course something I had asked him when we were discussing it and he had told me that there was no history of twins in his family.

I spent that last two hours of my workday reading about twins. I had never known anything about them before. And even after that I was still a fire inside. I jogged out to my car, skipping along, light as a feather. When I started my car I turned down the radio. I began to hum songs from my childhood. After I had hummed for a few moments it was not good enough and I started to sing, full throat, nursery rhymes from my when I was a kid.
Where is Thumbkin?
Where is Thumbkin?
Here I am!
Here I am!
How are you today sir?
Mighty well I thank you.
Run away! Run away!

When I arrived home I sat in my car a moment. I was quiet but the song went on as loud as ever in my head. I looked up at my apartment in front of me not wanting to enter, knowing that I would be alone there. The high feeling that I had been experiencing was tempered for an instant but then the wind stirred within me and the pinwheels raced at a higher speed than ever and I became lost in a daydream.

I thought about Christmas with three girls happy and giggling waking me up early in the morning. I saw their brilliant smiles, their eyes shining bright. I imaged their joy coming into the living room seeing the tree and the gifts and the wonder. Oh how they skipped about! They raved about Santa and gave me hugs and kisses. It was a fantastic scene. And then it was on to Easter with the same three girls on an Easter egg hunt. Falling over one another to find the next egg. Each holiday had it's own memory. There was the Valentines Day of joy and giddiness and others were of heartbreak.

I had memories of giving away each girl. I gave each of them a piece of advice that only a father can share with his daughter. The advice changed slightly for each girl depending on her situation. I felt pride swell within me and the pain of letting each girl take her wings and face the world.

I saw my first grandchild and it overwhelmed me. My child's child. I sat in my car and cried. I wept for joy. I had never felt this way in my entire life. It was intoxicating.

But none of this was mine. Not one moment of it. This was for someone else. It was for that man at work and his wife to enjoy. The memories that made me weep out loud were all his memories. I hoped he was a good man and a good father. He really should keep more pictures of his children on his desk. It seems like a really proud father would. And I hope he enjoys all the beautiful things that I envisioned for myself. I hope he relishes every sleepless night, every diaper change, bath time, Christmas, Easter, weddings, and grandchildren. He is so lucky. I bet he has no idea just how lucky he is. He better not take it for granted. It is all too wonderful to be taken for granted.

I sat in my car for another moment trying to compose myself. No one likes to see a grown man cry and especially when there is no reason for it, other than a powerful daydream. I opened my door of my apartment, my stomach felt like a rock and all around the room there was only emptiness. No toys on the floor, no laughter, no crying, nothing. I walked to my bedroom and went to bed right away. I hoped for wonderful and beautiful dreams. I hoped for twins.